The Master’s Hat Headache
Alright, so graduation day was creeping up, and honestly, staring at that weird square black hat thing – the master’s mortarboard, whatever – gave me a headache. Seriously, how hard could it be? It’s just a hat, right? Spoiler: I was clueless. Here’s exactly how I figured it out, step by clumsy step.
First Try: Disaster Zone
Grabbed it straight outta the box. Felt like holding a floppy rectangle with a weird button on top and strings hanging off. Just plonked it straight on my head, flat side down. Immediate regret. Looked like a confused waiter carrying a tray. Plus, the whole thing kept sliding backwards. Yeah, felt pretty stupid standing there in front of the mirror.
Actually Opening the Box Properly
Took it out again. Paid attention this time. Saw it came folded flat – pretty smart for packing. Gently unfolded it. Ahhh, now it took the classic square hat shape. Not rocket science, but I missed that initially. The button was clearly meant to be pointing up. The dangling part? Yeah, the tassel.
Finding the Damn Front
Turned it around in my hands. One side had the button, super obvious. The opposite side? Perfectly smooth edge. Pretty sure the smooth edge is supposed to be the front. Made sense – you don’t want that lumpy button bump staring everyone in the face. Held it with the smooth edge towards the mirror.
Getting It On My Head
Took a breath. Placed it firmly on my head, centering that smooth edge right along the middle of my forehead. Pushed it down a bit, kinda snug. But it still felt a bit… insecure. Like a stiff breeze would ruin my moment.
The Hairpin Struggle
Fumbled around inside the cap. Felt some flimsy fabric straps sewn in near the front corners, probably elastic loops. My packet had some flimsy bobby pins – those cheap black ones. Here’s the trick I nearly messed up: Don’t pin the cap to your hair! Sounds dumb, but that was my first instinct. Wrong. Pin through those little loops inside the cap and then straight into your hair. Got a few pinches on my scalp, muttered some choice words, but shoved like four pins in – two on each side near the front loops. Finally, it felt solid. Phew.
The Tassel Fiasco
Almost forgot that dangly thing! Found it just hanging off the button. Looked limp. Saw how it was attached with a little loop. Had to slip that loop right over the button and kinda hook it on. Gave it a tug – secure. But then I saw photos… Before the ceremony, tassel goes on the RIGHT! Yep. Swung mine over to the right side of the cap. Immediately whipped my head around to test it. Tassel smacked me right in the left eye. Lesson learned: avoid sudden head movements before diplomas.
The Final Product
Stood back. Hat on, front edge parallel to my eyebrows (not tipped back like a cowboy hat!), pinned solid, tassel dangling properly on the right. Looked… legit. Almost official. Way better than the confused waiter look I started with. Got the photo proof on my phone. Mission accomplished, after a few dumb mistakes.
So, Simple Steps I Learned:
- Unfold that thing carefully.
- Find the smooth edge – that’s your front, wear it facing forward.
- Center it on your head, parallel to the ground.
- Pin like crazy through the inner loops into your hair.
- Hook the tassel over the button. Start with it on your RIGHT side!
- Stop worrying, you got this.
Honestly, feels like they make these things confusing on purpose. But hey, now you know what took me a surprisingly embarrassing amount of time to figure out!
